Tuesday 12.20.2016

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When I logged-in tonight to start working on my annual “my year in cinema” post I realized that it’s been almost a year since I’ve done any personal blogging. I’ve fallen in the #twittertrap of microposts where I get all of my joy/anger/frustration out in 138 characters or less. It really impacts my ability to write on my other blogs when I’m not writing here- I’ve seen the word count shrink on Occult Vibrations and Sacred Debris since I’ve left DR unattended in favor of shorter less articulate posts and I hate it. So I’m going to make “write more” my main resolution for 2017.  I’m trying to reprioritize how I archive things in the coming year which will affect how the blogs are updated, but when I do work on them I want to be able to say a little more than just “Uncredited photo, 1970s” for want of anything else to say. We’ll see how that goes.

It’s been quite a year since I last posted; I think there’s a communal feeling with most of the world that 2016 has been, to quote Gandhi, a total fucking cocksucker. When a year starts with the death of David Bowie and ends with a conceivably illiterate bully of a reality star becoming President you know that the days sandwiched between are going to be filled with nonsense. There’s a lot to process, a lot of really horrible events that we’ve suffered through and the reality that events like Aleppo and the Trump Presidency will follow us into the New Year- and it’s really easy to just write the whole year off with our heads down and the hopes that we can all forget about the great beast ’16.

So instead- I’m going to be a contrarian and celebrate all of the amazing experiences the year had to offer for me and mine.

  • Celebrating Julia’s 29th birthday at Walt Disney World. We were in a DOOMBUGGY at the Haunted Mansion and I got to kiss her as the clock struck midnight leading into her birthday in one of our favorite places.
  • Meeting HG Lewis- the “Godfather of Gore” several months before he passed away.
  • Meeting big boob aficionado/artist Rockin Jellybean and spending time with my Pushead friends at the NYC Hyperstoic Returns Event.
  • Stealing a little time with my wife at the Nude Beach.
  • Vasectomy! Being in control of my reproductive health with just a little pinch and a bunch of funny photos was one of the best days off I took this year.
  • Seeing Orbax and Pepper. I love them both and don’t see them nearly enough.
  • Making silly patches. Some sell. Some don’t.
  • Taking a stop-motion animation class with Julia at the Mutter Museum and creating a bizarre film about a homicidal rabbit.
  • Jimbos. So much Jimbos.

There were so many great times had in 2016, but if I had to pick just one thing I’d say that the work both Julia and I put into our marriage to make it magical, funny, comfortable, exciting, peaceful, wild and always out greatest adventure has been the most satisfying. Even if the coming year has as many curveballs as this one has had I know that we’ll weather the storm together in our silly little house with our creepy little dog, our family and friends and, again quoting Gandhi, we’ll fuck it right in it’s keister.

If you had to pick just one thing that made 2016 a great year for you- what would it be?

 

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Monday 11.16.2015

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The essence of your partnership is guided by the ways you compliment each other. Each of you recognizes how your creativity inspires the other. Your partnership is enriched by your humor, understanding, and compassion for one another and for those around you. You support, challenge and inspire each other’s interests and goals. You dance through life not as one being but as separate individuals who support and care for one another.

The other night, when we knew she had to wake up in a few hours and go to work my wife and I laid in bed, in the dark, with our creepy dog contentedly curled up in between us, and talked. Deep stuff, and funny stuff, and serious stuff and inconsequential stuff. In the year that we’ve been married she’s never failed to stop, sit down and listen to me when I needed to talk; she’s never been shy about coming to me when she needed to.

She supports me, unconditionally. She’s my biggest fan, even when I’m not.
She allows me to be vulnerable when I need it, and she trusts me to keep her safe when she needs to do the same. She lets me have bad days and celebrates my good ones. We’ve developed our little rituals, as a couple; the cards before every trip (and sometimes just for fun) and the double kiss every morning before she leaves the house.  She’s encouraged me more than anyone ever has and I always know that no matter what she’ll be there for me.

Happy first anniversary, Jbird. I love you the most.

(text above is from our wedding ceremony, written by my sister Carmela and recited by our officiant and friend AJ)

Thursday 02.26.2015

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My wife and my dog have developed a strange symbiotic/passive aggressive sleep relationship where he lays as close to her as possible, burrowed under the covers, then growls at her (in his sleep) if she rolls over on him. You’d think that after almost two years of sleeping in the same bed together they would have worked out some sort of mutually agreeable pattern- but maybe rolling/growling is it.

They also trend towards center/my side of the bed leaving a little strip for me, though tonight between her Mickey Mouse Tsum Tsum and his long spidery legs actually being folded in for once I have an unusually generous amount of space to stretch out, watch horror movies and be awake when I should be sleeping.

I’m not complaining. I like our bed dynamic. Just funny watching these two battle it out in their quest for sleep supremacy.

I’ve been a total grouch the last few weeks- the weather is no longer charming and is trending on unbearable. As much as I bitched about winter last year, this one is worse. Too much snow. Too much cold. Too much fucking cold. I’ve skipped biking in place of SEPTA and taxis though today I managed a six mile walk with the weather a much warmer 25* or so. It’s been taking a toll on my mood and routines. The last few weeks have seen me being a hermity recluse, only leaving the house for work and movies. I try to remind myself that this is winter, in the North East, and that’s how winters in the north east are, but when it gets down to 4* before factoring in the wind chill- logic can fuck off.

I’ve been mentally planning our Vegas trip- Julia is joining me for APP this year- just to think about the warmer weather. Not the friends I’ll see and be able to introduce her to, or my beloved Bellagio buffet- but the 109* temperature that I’ll most likely bitch about once I’m out there but for now am drooling over.

Fucking winter.

 

 

Wednesday 03.26.2014

1958190_10203083110186152_757754188_nI’ve been having sleeping problems again. The weather the last few months has made me super grouchy, so I’m assuming that’s playing into it. Despite having woken up early today, I find myself in bed with Julia conked out next to me, Bailey sleeping in his wee little Baileybed and me wide awake. Once I get to sleep- probably around four am, I’ll have four hours to sleep before the construction resumes on the house next door. After seven years of living here it’s finally sold; from what I understand to someone who had no idea what state of disrepair it was in. For his $60k he’s got himself a house that has a hole in the roof and a tree growing through the back door. His three man refurb crew are working tirelessly from 8am till about 5pm ,every day. Honestly, having entered the house questionably a few years ago, I don’t really see how they’re going to be able to do it. It’s beyond disrepair; even gutting it seems like it would be a risky proposition. Either way, I’m trying to get used to the constant hammering, sanding, knocking and nailing. I’m trying to make the most of the insomnia; editing video for Sacred Debris, working on a Big Book of Fun(tm) for Orlando, writing the intro to (redacted. More info soon) and trying to put to bed an article on the 1995 Amsterdam Tattoo Convention for a friend’s ‘zine. If I’m going to be awake, I should probably be doing more than just watching 1980s movies (currently: MEATBALLS.) and mindlessly surfing the Internets.

I’ve been trying really hard to get into the whole ‘Spring’ vibe, despite it being late March and as of earlier this evening, still snowing. Over the last few Garbage pickup days I’ve taken out several x-tra large bags of clutter culled from multiple closets; things that were just taking up space that served no purpose other than to take up space. I have a lot more to get to- books especially. Having finally given in to the while iBook thing and being able to host all of the Harry Potter books in the space of a few megabytes, I find myself not really needing the space-taking thick as all hell books. I found a box in my guest room closet of books I didn’t even know I had, books that I haven’t read in years so it’s not like I’d miss them if they were gone. I’m going to make an AIDSTHRIFT box in the next few days and get everything dropped off. Julia has been doing the same; I think it’s a nesting thing on both of our parts since she’ll be moving in permanently in just a few weeks. She all but lives here now, but I think that having all of her stuff- or at least what she chooses to keep- will make it seem more real. By the time she’s 100% moved in it’ll be our year anniversary. We’re still obnoxiously, goobery in love with each other (even when she falls asleep during Coraline) so our #neverendinghoneymoonphase tattoos kind of paid off.

animal-kingdom-villas-story-01-v1Speaking of, I’m going to try to convince her that we need to get a vacation tattoo when we go to Disney in a few weeks (54 days) to commemorate another rad family vacation. This time Robert, Carmela and B4 are going to be joining us, as will a cadre of BME Weirdos. We’ve been crossing the Ts and dotting the Is over the last few days- getting the hotel stuff squared, getting our park passes set up, flight information sorted out… it’s been keeping me  occupied as the last dregs of Winter fight for a little more time. All that’s left to do is figure out where and when we want to use our Fast Pass+ options- three per day -and then we’re done. We bought five day passes (and are going to add the Park Hopper option) so there’s a lot of fun to plan. I’m really looking forward to the Haunted Mansion and Space Mountain, Star Tours and the surreality of wandering around the Disney family of parks surrounded by Storm Troopers, Jedi, Sith and the Weirdos who’re joining us on the trip.

Once all that’s sorted out… there’s Vegas for APP. Last year I promised my friend Bethra that I wouldn’t do my traditional ‘I don’t think I’m going next year’ thing for the 2014 Conference. I had a really great time last year despite the sombre task of delivering my friend Shannon’s eulogy at the Banquet. This year I’m going with very few set plans. I might take a few classes if they grab me; might go see Penn and Teller again, might just sit by the pool reading and bs’ing with friends.

I’ve been trying to do the same locally, too. I had a really great brunch with my old friend Lauren the other day at Cantina. We hadn’t done that in years- sit down and have dinner, shoot the breeze and just hang out. It’s always weird to me how friendships can just sort of pause for a while. Lauren and I were really ‘there for each other’ a few years ago when we were both going through a rough patch at the same time so I was worried that having brunch would dig up those memories for me; instead I found myself laughing with an old friend and hoping that we’ll be able to do it again soon. I’m also trying to make plans with the always-busy Natalie for some catchup time. Once the weather gets nicer I’m going to try to make seeing local friends a bigger priority. There’s no excuse not to see the people I love when they live so close.

There’s been a lot going on since the last time I updated; planning my 40th birthday party, finally getting my John the Baptist tattoo worked on in a few weeks, J and I got into a minor car accident… life has been and continues to be full of adventure.

Photo: Sansom Street wall.