Thursday 12.24.2015

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It’s Christmas Eve, Internet.
Well. Sort of. It’s early morning on the day that will become the Eve, but it’s close enough and I’ve got that Christmas cheer going on, so bear with me. My wife is asleep, adorable in her stripey elf pajamas and my dog seems indifferent to me at the moment so I’m watching 1980s porno (Corruption, 1981 Vinegar Syndrome) and considering going downstairs to make a pizza. My cheer not withstanding, it doesn’t really feel like Christmas here in Philadelphia. It’s 60* outside and pouring rain. I don’t need it to snow, but I’d love it if it were just a little colder and I had to wear mittens and a scarf instead of shorts and a tshirt.

Either way I’m glad that the ‘big day’ is almost here. As a godless heathen who has more than a passing fancy to proclaiming secular love for Odin and Satan, Christmas is my second favorite holiday right after the equally gaudy Halloween. There’s pagan idolatry all around, I get things from people I love, I give things to people I love and there’s cookies and candy everywhere. This year I think I did pretty good by Julia; I told her what I got her before I even bought it, ruining the surprise, but it’s something she really wanted  and the stocking stuffers and assorted little things I got to fill out the space around our tiny tree will fill in the surprise factor just fine.

I’m dying to know what she got me; one of my longest standing Holiday traditions is to try and ‘spoil’ Christmas by figuring out what presents ‘Santa’ got for me before I tear off the first piece of wrapping paper. It’s a by-any-means-necessary campaign and I’m usually quite good at it, but this year she’s managed to keep things secret and as I sit in our living room (the porn ended and I made that pizza after all) and stare at our little tree I haven’t the foggiest idea what to expect on Christmas morning. You win this year, Wife, but I’ll have my revenge.

We have to be up in a few hours to go do a work thing, then we’re going to spend Christmas Eve day in the worst possible place- near the King of Prussia Mall, eating a Christmas classic- Bahama Breeze (Im a sucker for a Cubano and Mojito) and seeing the new oh-shit-its-available-online Tarantino movie in glorious 70mm. The wife says we have to wait until Christmas morning to open presents (loophole of ‘if it’s after midnight it’s technically Christmas’ has been shot down) but I’m sure it’ll be worth the wait.

It’s been a really great, fun, adventurous and stable 2015- Maybe I’ll get around to a New Years Post- and this is going to be a really rad Christmas. Now let’s see if I can unwrap my gifts and get the wrapping back on where she won’t notice….

 

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