It’s been a really long time since I’ve had the compulsion to count things.
Tonight I had a bit of an issue and had the overwhelming need to empty out a bottle of quarters and count and recount them until I could get the patterns to quiet down, but unfortunately I wasn’t at home and it doesn’t really work when it’s just random quarters. Instead I set up some boundaries that my friend Mike helped me enforce and attempted to work through it. I almost sent an email to Cynthia, but I got the impression on our last session that it wouldn’t be welcome. The jaded part of me reckons that it’s because I’m no longer a paying customer/client, but the realistic part of me realizes that a therapist can’t just ‘be there’ for all of their former clients.
Needless to say it took me by surprise. You work so hard to be ‘well’ and you realize that working hard is exactly what it us. There’s no fixed, just better tools to work on the project.
Winter has really been getting to me as well. Right now it’s almost 5am and I’m landlocked at the bar, unwilling to bike home in the rain- that promises to turn into snow later today but is at least melting the last round of it- and unwilling to get yet another cab to get home. At least I have Netflix and the Internet though I’m woefully understocked on snacks.
I’ve had a half written entry ready to be finished here for a while. It’s been over a month since the last update and even though this is just a space for me to keep track of my days I really enjoy writing here. Been really invested in the Sacred Debris blog, which is going well and seems to have found a small niche and level of support, so at least for now my time doesn’t feel wasted for putting the time in it. Luckily I’ve reached a point in my life where the second it goes from being fun to being a burden… I can just nix it. I hate going into a new project like that, but with SPCO and Scarwars I ended up having so many bad feelings about it. With SD- it’s fun. The nostalgia has been really rad and for the time being… it’s a go.
Julia and I took a Wintertrip to Atlantic City that was really fun; I like to go every season to enjoy AC when it’s empty and sort of a ghost town, walking the boardwalk and feeling like you’re the only person alive. This year in the middle of January we had a rare 50* day and AC was full of tourists- some in short sleeves, enjoying a spring day in heart of winter. What can you do; we still had a good time.
We also just had the Philly Tattoo Convention roll through. My feelings as always are pretty much summed up with a ‘not for me’ but I do love the friends that come into town because of it, so it’s worth it in the end.