Thursday 02.13.2014

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It’s a familiar sight.
Looking out the window and seeing snow. Always snow. Always ice. Always cold. More winter to come apparently and the city Government of Philadelphia- while not being remotely capable of actually plowing or salting our streets has set up a ‘rat line’ where citizens can dime out their neighbors for not shoveling snow on our sidewalks. Our Mayor has a small penis. That has nothing to do with his inability to handle the winter weather, it’s just a random fact to add a little snarky spice to my municipal griping.

Lately the bad weather has had me down, but due to Julia’s job being super proactive with weather emergencies, these snow days almost always guarantee that she and I can steal a day off together which kind of adds a silver lining to the altostratus that’s hanging over Philly pelting us with snow. I stocked the house with groceries and art supplies, so as the weather gets progressively worse tomorrow we’ll be well fed and entertained, and the Valentine’s day dinner I had planned for Julia- surf and turf with two nice aged ribeyes and shrimp- can now be a shared preparation since she’ll be home to apron up and assist me. When we started dating nine months ago, she confessed that she wasn’t a confident cook, but we’ve been having so much fun in the kitchen since we’ve been together that she’s improved by leaps and bounds and I find that our cooking dates are among my favorites; dancing around each other in my tiny kitchen each taking a task, talking about our day, deviling Bailey and finally eating the simple or complex plates we’ve made. We decided not to make a huge deal out of Valentine’s day since her birthday was Tuesday and we did that up pretty well, but something makes me think both have some surprises lined up for each other, though those dumb little chalky message hearts better not make an appearance; they give a bad name to candy.

(just checked. still snowing. 10-16 inches predicted)

I’ve been working on some fun mail-art projects this week thanks to one of those Facebook ‘pay it forward’ meme things; as someone who used to draw every day but has since lapsed it’s always fun to give myself excuses to make art, despite my technique being incredibly rusty. I’m really not sure what I’m going to do or if everyone is getting a drawing, but I picked up a bunch of ink and some new brushes so I’m excited to give them a try. I love getting stuff in the mail but I rarely send any out and I’ve been really trying to do more fun stuff for my friends so this seems to be the perfect fit. My art has never really been great, but it helps me focus my fidgeting.

Trying to stay positive during the winter takes a lot of work.

Monday 02.03.2014

1525207_10202651068345376_1114759902_nIt’s been a really long time since I’ve had the compulsion to count things.
Tonight I had a bit of an issue and had the overwhelming need to empty out a bottle of quarters and count and recount them until I could get the patterns to quiet down, but unfortunately I wasn’t at home and it doesn’t really work when it’s just random quarters. Instead I set up some boundaries that my friend Mike helped me enforce and attempted to work through it. I almost sent an email to Cynthia, but I got the impression on our last session that it wouldn’t be welcome. The jaded part of me reckons that it’s because I’m no longer a paying customer/client, but the realistic part of me realizes that a therapist can’t just ‘be there’ for all of their former clients.

Needless to say it took me by surprise. You work so hard to be ‘well’ and you realize that working hard is exactly what it us. There’s no fixed, just better tools to work on the project.

Winter has really been getting to me as well. Right now it’s almost 5am and I’m landlocked at the bar, unwilling to bike home in the rain- that promises to turn into snow later today but is at least melting the last round of it- and unwilling to get yet another cab to get home. At least I have Netflix and the Internet though I’m woefully understocked on snacks.

I’ve had a half written entry ready to be finished here for a while. It’s been over a month since the last update and even though this is just a space for me to keep track of my days I really enjoy writing here. Been really invested in the Sacred Debris blog, which is going well and seems to have found a small niche and level of support, so at least for now my time doesn’t feel wasted for putting the time in it. Luckily I’ve reached a point in my life where the second it goes from being fun to being a burden… I can just nix it. I hate going into a new project like that, but with SPCO and Scarwars I ended up having so many bad feelings about it. With SD- it’s fun. The nostalgia has been really rad and for the time being… it’s a go.

Julia and I took a Wintertrip to Atlantic City that was really fun; I like to go every season to enjoy AC when it’s empty and sort of a ghost town, walking the boardwalk and feeling like you’re the only person alive. This year in the middle of January we had a rare 50* day and AC was full of tourists- some in short sleeves, enjoying a spring day in heart of winter. What can you do; we still had a good time.

We also just had the Philly Tattoo Convention roll through. My feelings as always are pretty much summed up with a ‘not for me’ but I do love the friends that come into town because of it, so it’s worth it in the end.

Meh.