Yesterday would have been my Mom’s 71st birthday.
It’s been so strange, the last few years. Sometimes the day comes and goes without me even really thinking about it, and other times it hits me really hard; the reality that she’s gone. Last night was more of the latter. Julia and I just laid in bed covered with a quilt she made me over thirty years ago and I just let myself be sad while J took care of me.
I hate that lack of control but everything worked out ok and I woke up (slightly groggy thanks to xanax) feeling much better about it. It’s the natural order of things. I got to have the world’s best Mom into my thirties. She got to see me grow up. She got to see all of the hard work and sacrifices she put into raising us take root. She didn’t get to see the massive changes that I’ve gone through in the last year an a half, but she was no less proud of a much more flawed me than she would be now. I say this a lot, but I’m me because of her.
So melancholy though it was… I’m glad to have thought of her.
In happier news, Julia and I are chugging along with Christmas overload. We’ve got our tree set up and decorated, working on food options/plans for Xmas Day and on my ends I’ve got most of her presents locked down. I don’t usually do that; make a big deal out of Christmas. I like it, as a holiday. It’s gaudy and sparkly. But the whole present craziness is usually something I skip. This year I’ve managed to get her a bunch of great little things that made me think of her or that I thought would make her happy and might even do my best attempting to wrap them.
We’ve also been working on our 2014 Disney getaway; the Weirdos are going to be heading to Orlando to spend some time together at an honest to goodness Summer Vacation. We’re doing a week in Orlando with sidetrips to Tampa/St. Pete. Disney, Universal Studios… can’t wait. Going to follow it up with a trip to Vegas for APP, so my 2014 is already starting to fill up. Jesus.