Monday 11.11.2013

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We’re getting a bit of a late start at it, but Julia and I finally bought our (first as a couple) Christmas tree. It’s just a little thing, pre-strung with lights, but it’s super cute and we’re going to have a lot of fun decorating it and basking in it’s Christmassy goodness. We’ve only purchased one ornament- a creepy prancing reindeer- but we’re off to a great start. Christmas is such an amazingly tacky and excessive holiday, so I think having the tree up for a month and a half is perfectly acceptable; once our AirBnB guest (a really nice kid from Montreal) leaves we’re going to get everything set up. I’m really looking forward to Christmas this year which is strange since I’m usually indifferent or hostile towards the Holidays, but for once I’m psyched and ready to enjoy myself. I’m not sure what we’re doing on the day itself- dinner with the family, or Erin or just each other, but I have been tossing around the idea of having a New Years Bonfire at our place in New Jersey to welcome in 2014. I know most folks like to go out and party on NYE, but if I can find some friends down for a slower paced night I might just start working on the firewood and arrangements.

I’ve been allowing things to get to me lately; finding myself really frustrated by friends and situations that don’t really affect me or that I have no control over and I’m doing my best to try to filter that stuff out. I’ve spent years priding myself on not really caring about the politics/ideologies of my friends, even when they radically differ from mine, but lately I’m finally starting to relate to them more; their intolerance is wearing off on me and I’m questioning how I can be friends with someone who I’m seemingly so at odds with. A friend said to me that people don’t really think about the pablum that they post, that it’s sort of automatic, but how should I deal with someone calling meat eaters “heartless maniacs” when I eat meat? I know they aren’t talking about me personally and for years that’s how I’ve explained things away. But if you think people like me are heartless maniacs… you must think I am as well, right? The question then follows- not necessarily why I’d want to be friends with you (I shouldn’t, right?) but why do you want to be friends with me?

I’m just not sure how to reconcile it all. That’s just one example, obviously.

I had a great talk with Julia yesterday- then again, I have great talks with her most days- where I came to the conclusion that Facebook has made ‘passionate’ or ‘radical’ people really lazy. Back in the ‘zine days when you were passionate about something, it took some effort to get your message out there. Be it hand-making or desktop publishing a ‘zine (which is still partly hand made with folding, stapling, etc) you had to commit to it. You made the ‘zine, printed the ‘zine. Solicited and shipped the ‘zine. You didn’t just spend all day on your lazy entitled ass clicking links on Jezebel or Huffington Post or Fox News, reading half of an article before reposting it to show how outraged or politically savvy you are to the delights of your friends who “liked” it and reposted it before they even had time to read it all the way through. You researched. And you wrote. Most of all you wrote; your own opinions, rants and raves. You were part of the discussion right or wrong. You had your own voice. Now the most politically active of you do little more than reblog someone else’s words, someone else’s passion- nonstop. And you have me, who’s always been very happy to share my life with people who think differently than me, thinking maybe I’ve been a fool for thinking that tolerance was for the tolerant.

Who knows. Maybe it’s just seasonal grouchiness.

Photo: Sweet Wizard necklace I found, Julia as Kembra Phfaler, my receding hairline.

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