Thursday 04.18.13

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Part of my 2013 ‘building for a better me’ lifestyle adjustment is to be totally single for the remainder of 2013 and possibly into 2014. A pretty big step coming from someone who’s infamously codependent. I’ve discussed with my therapist (one more appointment then I’m on my own) and Erin and I’m feeing really good about the idea of just being single for a while, going on a bunch of first dates and removing complication from my life a little bit.

The upside of the whole thing is the first dates. I really like them; everything is so fun and getting-to-know-you and you’re just really glad to be there (for the most part) because the eventual baggage that will no doubt surface on one or both sides is being carefully kept in check so that all you have left is charm, possible sexual tension, funny stories and the attempt to connect with someone even for a little bit.

Sometimes I’ve been going out on second dates. Mostly not. I’ve been lucky to meet some ladies that are looking for the same thing; a dinner partner, movie date, bike ride buddy and more without the OMG ILOVEYOULETSMOVEINTOGETHER!!! kookiness that is so common now’adays. One new friend told me that a guy from OKCupid (look me up on there. shawnspc) told her he loved her on the first date. I’ve thankfully not had anyone so forward. More often than I not we chat for a few days, they ask to meet, and we either do or we don’t. If we don’t, I generally never hear from them again. It probably seems so exciting to them, the idea of meeting a stranger for drinks or a movie, but then when the reality of meeting someone off of a dating site sinks in they probably panic a little and it’s easier to withdraw than to say that it freaked them out. Sometimes it really sucks; you spend a few days/weeks chatting with someone and in one fell swoop the interaction is just at a close.

Luckily others have become friends, which is rad. It’s why I use OKC (my profile has pretty full disclosure that I’m not looking to date) in the first place, so when it actually works out… can’t complain.

So yeah. If you want to go on a first date, just ask me. I’m game.

Stay Calm planning has been going well; the order for the prints is in, the shirt order goes in tomorrow. The vendors have been especially generous and we have over 200 people signed up to attend and say their farewells to Shannon. So many old friends are going to be in town; normally I’d have a hard time dividing my time, but since Bethany is coming she just gets all of it. I haven’t had this much time alone with my best friend since 2005. I’m going to be so damned spoiled I won’t know what to do with myself. Her presence is going to totally calm what could be a stressful time for me. But then again, she’s been doing that for almost 10 years, so…

I’m so excited about her visiting that I just drifted off a little, staring into space thinking of her visit.

I was talking to my friend Brad tonight and we both agreed that we really like living our lives. I’ve said for years that if I wasn’t me I’d be jealous of my life, but.. man.. its better than it’s ever been.

Photo: Passing Through: Kaws Companion at 30th Street Station

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