Sunday 04.14.13

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I should be asleep.
I’m dog tired and sore from a few days of really heavy (but ultimately satisfying) working out and still kind of janky from the bike fall the other night but despite it all I’m still awake, sipping mint tea, tuggin’ at Bailey’s ears and trying to juggle a handful of mental lists that need updated while pretending that not getting to sleep isn’t that big of a deal.

I’m getting up early tomorrow to go see Jurassic Park 3d with Erin and Natalie at the Riverview. Natalie came by the bar the other day to visit; it was the first time we’ve seen each other since we ended our romantic relationship back in February and more importantly the first time I’ve ever socialized with an ‘ex’ post breakup. That’s very strange for me. I’ve always (and I mean 100% of the time) totally cut people out of my life when the relationship ends so this is all very new to me. But nice. Reconciling that she can be my ex-girlfriend while still being my friend came easier than I thought. When I opened the door for her and hugged her it was just… comfortable. Like seeing an old friend. Which she is, so I guess it’s appropriate. I found myself really glad she was there; really interested to catch up with her life (and she has so many awesome changes coming up that I’m glad I’ll be around to be part of) and to fill her in on what’s been going on in mine.

Her laugh still lights up a room.

So yeah. Big steps for me and I’m really glad that this can work out. I was really sad when things ended with Natalie because I didn’t want her not to be in my life. This is great.

Carmela and I have been busting our butts on the Stay Calm memorial. It’s morphed into something so much bigger than we ever expected. Part memorial, part party, part fundraiser and all fun if we do it right. The sponsors have been unbelievably generous to us; if you head over to Stay Calm and check out the raffles section you’ll see just how generous. We intend to be equally generous to Shannon and Rachel’s daughter Ari by donating 100% of net profits to her bank account. We’re working hard with sponsors to make sure that the gross and the net are as close as possible. I think it’s going to be a really fitting event to honor Shannon and I’m humbled by all of the help and support we’ve received.

So. Hanging out with an ex girlfriend. Organizing an event that benefits someone who needs support.

Who the hell am I again?

With everything that’s going on I’m really looking forward to APP and SDCC. Just get the hell out of dodge for a bit and decompress. I know once Bethany gets here on the 26th all of the stress will wash away. I’m so excited about her being here that sometimes I forget that the memorial is happening too. I always mean to write more about her; to talk about how we met and how she was this beacon of love for me when things were terrible. About how much she means to me. I always mean to do that, then I realize that I’m not even capable of articulating how I feel about her; what she means to me. She’s.. Bethany.

Beyond excited.

Anyway. Thoughts are getting jumbled. Bailey seems annoyed that I’m typing and not petting him, so until next time…

Photo: Stay Calm print by Johnny Thief.

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