Thursday 02.28.13

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It’s almost 3pm and I’ve only been out of bed for an hour.
I almost never sleep this late, but the cold that I’ve been avoiding all season long has finally caught me. I woke up at my standard 9am with lungs full of pea soup and a generally crabby demeanor and pulled the covers over my head and dozed back off… until 1:45pm.

Obviously my body needed/needs the rest, but I feel like my day is wasted and despite knowing I needed the time in bed, I’ve added grumpy to my existing crabbiness. Part of it may also be that I finally finished GAME OF THRONES S1 & S2 in a two day clip and I know it’ll be a while before I get to see how it all works out. I went for over a decade without being a TV watcher, but these days as I become increasingly more boring, I’m finding that series television makes me happy. There’s a consistency to knowing that you’ll be watching a new episode next week. Granted I like to watch whole seasons at a time, but with Hulu+ and HBOGo, it’s been easier to pick things off week after week and not have to download and convert entire seasons for streaming.

The HBO is especially fun. I just got that set up thanks to Robert and Carmela- streaming from my iPhone to my AppleTV and the picture is nice and clean. I’m on my third AppleTV (bought and sold the first two because I didn’t like it, bought the third because of how easy they are to hack) and I find myself as geeked by the technology of it as I do the portability.

So yeah. A whole update not only about how much TV I’ve been watching, but marveling about the devices that make it possible. I bet you folks are glad you took the time out of your day to read this. Soon I’ll resort to telling you the funny things Bailey has been doing or the arts and crafts I’ve been working on and the transition into the most boring old woman in the world will be complete. Right around the time that I post that I’ve “rescued” a cat, I expect one of you to come and kill me. It’s ok… I’ll deserve it.

I think I’m going to head into work early and sit in the sauna for a bit. See if that clears out the lungs/sinuses. Can’t make it worse, I guess.

Photo: More Skull Stickers, Philadelphia

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Saturday 02.23.13

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I’m craving a road trip. Someplace just far enough away for it to be rad but not so far that I get grumpy and frustrated. I had talked about going to my beloved SOUTH OF THE BORDER this coming spring or early summer, but I’m not sure that’s going to happen now. I’ve got Vegas for APP and San Diego for Comic Con coming up over the summer, but I’d really like to get out of Philly soon, finances depending.

Which is probably not going to work, since the govt. zapped me with some back taxes that’s taking all of my available cash and then some to pay off. I thought I had gotten the withholding right, but apparently not. So I’m scrambling to pay off that debt, plus my monthly bills, plus everything else. I’m mostly stable financially, but when something unexpected comes along, it can take a bit of shuffling to accommodate it.

With that in mind, I’m considering getting an extra roommate. I’ve been doing the AirBnB thing for a while, but I’m thinking that I want something a little more stable; something that exposes me to less strangers but will still provide me with added income for the mortgage/utilities on top of what Megh contributes. It’s so difficult to find the right person; I’ve been lucky in the past. Robin was the best roommate ever, Claudia had her moments, Tom was great, Megh is rad…. so finding someone that fits into my weird routine and groove takes a little time. I tried Craigslist last May; that was an incredibly surreal experience. Regardless of how well worded, of how specific the ad is on there… people don’t read it.

AD: I don’t ¬†allow cats.
Respondent: I know you said no cats, but you’ll LOVE Princess Whiskerbiskit!

AD: No smoking in the house.
Respondent: So if I use air freshener can I smoke in my room?

AD: The price quoted is for a single occupant. While your boyfriend/girlfriend/SO can VISIT, they can’t live here.
Respondent: My boyfriend and I were looking to move in in the next two weeks. Is it ok to bring our cat? He smokes cloves.

I’ve thrown out an offer to a friend, so we’ll see. I’d rather live with someone I know than start up that whole process again. I guess the next step would be to put a note up on my facebook account, or fetlife or something. Still try to keep it in the family, so to speak, lest we get weirdos bugging me and I scrap the whole thing. I only have so many more AirBnB visits in me; the whole scrambling to get the room ready, the backing and forthing of house rules/security code/wifi/etc gets old. It’s good money, but ultimately, it’s getting to the point where the juice isn’t necessarily worth the squeeze.

So much going on. Jesus.

Had a really fun time at the bar last night. We did double duty with an affiliate Leather Club celebrating their anniversary at the bar and a Long Underwear party. Great dichotomy- guys decked out in full leather mingling with folks in red Union Suits, white thermals… The surreality of my life isn’t lost on me. I posted this on Facebook the other day:

The surreality of where I work has long since worn off for me, but when you’re flirting with ladies who want to come meet you and you have to use words like “well, that night is jockstrap night” you shouldn’t be surprised when they’re suddenly busy.

It turns out that working in a gay bar doesn’t really do it for some ladies. You’d think the kinds of ladies who would flirt with me would be a more adventurous sort, but apparently OKCupid users are weirded out by gay bars and the fellas who work in them. I should really devote more time to the weird messages/experiences I have with OKC, but… hell.. anyone who’s used the site surely knows how strange it is, and it would just be more of the same. But if something particularly surreal comes along, maybe I’ll share it. Like the woman who said “Your loss, Faggot” when I told her I worked at a gay bar. Pure class!

Tomorrow night is Oscar Night, so I think we’re going to do an Oscars thing at the bar. Totally unofficial, but if you’re a local friend and you feel like coming out and watching the awards… let me know. I’ll pack some card games and get some snacks and we can pretend that we’re watching it at home. At my work, just like at my house…. you don’t have to wear pants.

Photo: Sticker, Philadelphia.

Tuesday 02.19.13

72661_10200414610195320_2031647223_nI spent most of last night watching cult horror and sleaze with my friend Brooke (I’ll need to start last initialing- I have three friends named Brooke) and upon waking up this morning had full intention of doing my regular gym visit. Until it started raining. The motivation left me quickly, so instead of ‘feeling the burn’ I watched more cult horror and sleaze and fell asleep in the bathtub. Again.

I think I sleep more in the bath every week than I do in bed. Everyone in my life who knows about this bad habit (I feel it’s a perfectly fine habit) worries about my longterm health and safety but for my money, I’m just glad that I’m getting the extra sleep. The insomnia of last year has returned and I’m back to averaging 21-25 hours a week of sleep. It’s been causing personality changes, weird bursts of uncontrolled emotion that I’m having difficulty processing. Little things are effecting me more than big things; things that logic can justify I can get over, but weird little things are making me sentimental or wistful. I’m going to need to talk to my therapist about that this week; I don’t like it at all. It reminds me of when I was on Celexa- uncontrollable emotion tinged with my more predictable and comfortable coldness. Last week’s therapy visit was one of the best I’ve had in months and I really want to roll with that momentum and try to figure out what the heck is going on in my noggin.

When I first started going to therapy I wanted her to help me work on expanding my emotional range; I thought that I didn’t like being more logical than emotional and that I could have someone ‘fix’ me. Over the last few months I’ve been more comfortable with my range; it can be frustrating to my friends and loved ones (though I’d say that my closest friends accept me in ways that I’m incredibly grateful for) that I’m emotionally repressed sometimes but I think that’s part and parcel with who I am.

Tonight is movie night with Erin (we say I love you sometimes. See. I emote) to see the new Die Hard flick. It’s going to be bad. Really bad. But Erin loves her action movies and there’s no really sappy romantic comedies out that I want to see, so it’s a hits for the team situation. They can’t all be Letters to Juliette or Twilight, I guess and I could use some venting and decompressing. Until then I’m going to switch from exploitation movies to some mindless crap, not feel too guilty about not going to the gym and devil Bailey with his stinky lamb.

I’m all about breaking down obstacles.

Photo: Ganesha wheatpaste, Philadelphia

Monday 02.18.13

562994_10200379177949536_1836698173_nFor the most part, Bailey is a really well behaved dog. No leash problems, comes when called, goes into his bed when commanded and generally does his best to get my approval. He sleeps in his little bed right next to me (so I don’t roll over and break his little twiggy legs) without any resistance, but lately, almost every morning around 8am he wakes up, stretches and noses under the covers, spooning up beside me and falling back to sleep.

I’m not sure when that started, but it’s quickly becoming one of my favorite morning rituals. I’ve talked before about the transition of becoming “that guy” when it comes to Bails, so I won’t ramble on too much about it, but…. I like it. I have to remember not to roll around too much (it usually earns me a frightened pip) but otherwise it’s fine, a little extra warmth and added emotional connection to the little monster I share my house and life with.

Of course now that I’m actually awake, he’s back in his little bed, licking his leg flaps and being a creep. Checks and balances.
My only goal for today is to go to the gym and maybe do a little cleaning if I’m feeling saucy. The main two floors are nice and tidy (I had AirBnB guests this week) but my room and bathroom could really use straightening up/dusting/etc. Once I get back from the gym/grocery shopping I’ll work on excuses for what it’s not going to get done.

(several hours later)

Today was cardio day at the gym. I’ve been breaking it up in cycles; Arms and Legs one day, Back and Check the next, Abs and Core the next, but keeping up pretty regular cardio every day. Today I added a little extra to the routine since there was extra time, mixing it up with elliptical, jogging and stairs. I walked in and back, which added another five miles of cardio… ¬†setting myself up for the bbq’d chicken’s breasts and greens that I’m going to have for dinner, once the thc cookie I ate earlier finally wears off. I’m kind of spacey right now, in a pleasant way, and not unaware of the dichotomy of working to eat local, organic meat and produce, working out and all that and then eating a pot cookie. But hey, at least it was vegan.

I’m trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my night. I had a date who wanted to come over, but I was so/so on company so that’s in a holding pattern right now. I was thinking about going to the movies, but since I went yesterday and am going tomorrow, it seems like overkill. I’m in my standard ‘deciding not to decide’ mode that will probably have me on the couch all night, happy to be alone (furry company excluded) and just enjoying the boringness of my life.

Photo: NYC door art