Thursday 10.25.12

I’m finally settling into bed after a very late return to Philadelphia from my ‘weekend’ in NYC. I’m so used to taking the bus to and from New York that the ride home with my friend Alissa was amazing; being able to get some talking time in just the two of us was the perfect way to end the experience of the last two days.

Alissa had invited me to support her for her first suspension in seven years; a resurrection. From Wiki:

resurrection suspension is a suspension in which the suspended person is held up by hooks, usually in two rows on the belly; it gives the impression of rising from death as the suspendee is curved backwards facing up.

It also happened to be on her birthday, so everything just lined up perfectly. I got into town the night before her- Just in time to meet up with Kathleen and Atom for a little snack at CraftBar. I had just eaten, so I went with a ‘small plate’ of duck hearts and fried boiled duck eggs with dumplings and bacon. Totally diet irresponsible, but every single bite made the caloric betrayal all the more easy to accept.

After dinner we headed back to their condo and I ended up staying up late talking to Kathleen while the freshly tattooed and considerably swollen Atom headed to bed. Kathleen and I had amazing conversation about things going on in our lives and my hesitancy to blog about them. Given how hyped up we both are on fitness we’re worried about sounding like broken records or health moonies and as such I’ve found I consciously try to censure myself when it comes to anything other than a casual mention of a workout or something like that.

I brought up the concept of ‘the good picture’- when I was larger I’d always have that one photo that was flattering, and it would end up being my avatar across social networking sites. And it would go unchanged- sometimes for a year or more, until the new ‘good picture’ that made me look skinnier than I was, came along to replace it.

I noticed the other day that going back now, sixty pounds lighter, that I see myself differently in the photos- even the ‘good’ photos. Where I thought the photos made me look good, now I see how shockingly overweight I was. So looking at the scores of photos that were never deemed the good photo has been even worse. I guess it’s that consistency- seeing myself in the mirror every day gives me an idea of what my ‘normal’ size is. So when I was heavier- that looked normal. Sure, some photos made me look better than others, but I never really thought I looked ‘fat’. And now those photos are reminders of how perspective is shaped by exposure.

Definitely made me think.

We were able to have a nice healthy breakfast together where we expanded on the conversation of the night before (including “getting skinny” vs “getting healthy”) and eventually said our goodbyes so I could start my journey to Brooklyn to meet up with Alissa.

I made some pitstops along the way- Stopping into Venus to see Ashley and Chris (turns out Ashley wasn’t there, sadly) and to devil Ben a little bit, then down to Sacred to say hi to Alicia, Kevin and Starr and then finally being picked up by Alissa and driven to Brooklyn- I had a full day before her suspension experience even started. We caught up with Decker while waiting for Joy and Evan, and I tried my darndest to get Brian and Starr’s puppy Oliver to like me. It ended up not happening until we were about to leave. Typical.

I was really glad to be able to catch up with Decker and Joy. I haven’t seen Decker since APP, and Joy in at least a year. Maybe (probably) over two. So we joked and laughed and threw each other under the bus, just like old times. I always forget how lovely Joy is and was happy that my schoolboy crush on her remains intact. Eventually Evan made it in and we were able to start to suspension.

Alissa was nervous. Rightly so. Still, she got up fine, hung for a decent clip and looked amazing hanging up there. I was incredibly humbled that she invited me along to be there for something that’s so personal to her. I can’t count the times she’s been there for me even when her life was busy or complicated and know that she’s always got my back. When I’m right, when I’m wrong- doesn’t matter. Her love and friendship is unconditional. So to be there for her when she needed me was perfect.

We eventually got her bandaged up and headed home. Like I said- I’m not used to driving back from the city, so having that extra alone time with Alissa was outstanding. It was the only time we were actually alone for the evening, so we could get all sappy, deep, silly, whatever emotion fit the particular conversation we were having at the time. And the conversations jumped from subject to subject, sometimes crisscrossing back to something we had touched on earlier and forgot to resolve. She got me home safely, I remembered to grab the present she got me (I ended up getting a present for her birthday, from her!) which she’ll be pleased to know that I used as soon as I settled in for the evening, and in no time flat drifted off to sleep. Sure I had to get up a few hours later, but hey man, it was worth getting in late to have spent that extra two hours with someone I love.

I got up a little earlier than normal for therapy this morning to be able to spend some time with Bailey; that’s the hardest part about going on these little minitrips is leaving him. Anna takes amazing care of him, but I always feel that little tinge of guilt that his wee walnut sized brain might process my leaving as some sort of abandonment; of course by the time I get home his tail is usually wagging so hard that it looks like a propeller, so I guess I shouldn’t worry too much about it or over think it.

Still no Halloween plans, and I think the girl that I was going to ask out on a Halloween date is going to be going California next week, so I may have missed my window. I’ll figure it all out by Halloween, hopefully.

Photo: Clash of the Titans (original) toy. 


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